Mothers Day is Sunday

I'm a big liar and I'm going to prove it. When I started this blog thing it was to show only my lighter side but for some reason I've not been able to do that. My heart is so damn broken and has been for so long. The final dagger happen over a year ago. This is the second Mothers Day I have no Daughter. Yes I have two sons that I love dearly and hopefully they love me as much. I have a Daughter. I love her with my whole being, a daughter who dose not understand she is all I am and so much more and always will be the flesh of me, just as her daughter is of her and her granddaughter is of her daughter. All this has been taken from me and I hurt deep down into my core. I'm debating as to putting our last corespondents here, will seeing it in print be a healing for me or a vendetta. So be it.

ME.... December 29, 2009 at 11:25pm
I'm sure that whatever I say you will twist on me so I'm not going to pussy foot around it . What you did this evening was very wrong I don't deserve that type of treatment. first place there is a great difference in what I feel about having a great granddaughter and LOVE. Has absolutely nothing to do with love and I think you know that. Or I would hope so you are way to bright not to. What I say is nothing new you haven't heard since you were a child. And that is enough said about the subject.

I would love to see my grandchildren and my great grandchildren. I think come summer, you could find a afternoon to visit with me. I don't really want to hear any excuses.

I Love you and I am your Mother. Time you started treating me as such, up to you daughter.

DAUGHTER..... December 30, 2009 at 10:51am
How about this Fuck you you crazy bitch leave me alone!


So this combined with all the water that has passed under the bridge and their has been plenty has totally alienate my daughter, and it seems my granddaughter and great granddaughter from me. I have missed so much, maybe because I've made the wrong choices. I don't know. I feel like it must be my fault I should have the wisdom of my years, I had always been the peacemaker and yet I seem to never make the peace. Will I die and never hold my great-granddaughter. Will my final goodby be at my funeral. If its to be maybe someday she will find this and know I loved her so much and hope she never experiences this void I feel. Yea I think this is more a vendetta God forgive me.